Obnoxious Barking

My wife and I were riding the bus home after a long work day. We were thinking warm thoughts of the supper we would soon be enjoying when suddenly this older woman pushes her way in to sit between us and begins talking, “I'm Jan and I have C.O.P.D.,” she says, “and that makes it hard to breath. . . .” We didn't know this lady and we had no interest in her medical issues. Besides that, we had not invited her to share our bus seat.
Clearly she does not care that she has intruded and she pulls out her Ipad and begins to show us videos of her and her dog; her and her grand children and her blowing out candles on a birthday cake.
“Since I started with Spiriva, I feel much better. . . . “
We didn't really care about her favorite drug. We just wanted to get home to our supper.
“Ask your doctor if Spiriva is right for you, she says just before she finally gets up and leaves.
We're pleased she is gone, but then a few minuets later she returns, pushes her way between us again and begins as if we had never heard her spiel before.
“I'm Jan and I have C.O.P.D. and that makes it hard to breath. . . .”
Finally, our stop comes up and we leave her going through her pitch to no one in particular. The next day was similar. This time it was an older overweight man who pushes his way between us. “I'm Mike and I have Diabetic Foot Pain,” he says. He too, pulls out his Ipad and begins to show us videos of him playing golf.
We try to tune him out, “. . . Ask your doctor if Lyrica is right for you,” he says as we look away. That pattern repeats every night- night after night.
Oh, wait! We're not on a bus in the city on our way home. We're sitting on the couch in front of our TV at home in a small desert town in Southern Utah, waiting for our supper to warm in the microwave.
A thin looking woman in a white lab coat comes on the screen. She's walking around talking to what appears to be her patients. Then she speaks to the camera, “I have dry eye . . . .” That's when I push the mute button.

Copyright 2015 by Richard McDonald

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